So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
