here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
