This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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