Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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