I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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