Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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