Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
