I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
