So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
