That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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