Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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