those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
