Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
