Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
