My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
