he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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