Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize