we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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