My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
