I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
