NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
