Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
