This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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