i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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