we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
