i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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