She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
