She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
