Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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