Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
