And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
