East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
