My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
