my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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