I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I love you. Go after that dick
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
