I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
