sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
