Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize