get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
