why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize