Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love having hate sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
