and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I deserve this hangover.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
