no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
