hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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