my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
