Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize