Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
