Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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