Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
