The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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