all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
