This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
