a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Holy sore nipples Batman
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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