rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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