i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
