no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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