Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
