He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
