Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
