I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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