so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Two words: nipple clamps
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