i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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