i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
