would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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