Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
