hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
