problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
