Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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