My brain says no but my pants say off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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