his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
