PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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