She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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