If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
