You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
