my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
