Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize