Just cropdusted the office
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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