all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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