I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
