Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
