we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
