Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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