the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
