She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
