i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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