An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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