i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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