im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How naked do you want me to be?
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